It was August 2010. Many in the summer months, especially in the hot southern countries, feel damaged from too much hot and they feel weaker and lenient. For many, with just a little shade, a bit of vacation, some magnesium and potassium sachets to overcome the crisis, all come back as before. Not in my case.
That month was a hell. I was still under the influence of the “hypercolauded” binomial in medical but non-scientific practice (patients are like experimental rats on wich they try cocktail and pairs drugs that have never been tested before the approval of the competent authorities?) of Efexor and Lamictal. What these drugs do (or should do) is known to everyone: calm the symptoms of depression, anxiety and mania. In short, ideally, you can reset your emotional discomfort and prevent fall-back by a regular lifetime assumption of this drugs. There is no cure in the mind of the psychiatrist: there are only symptomatic remedies that someone have presented to them as an official and legal treatment for the diseases insinuously recorded in the ridiculous bible of the little crazy chemist: the DMS in its various versions of madness from the first to the fifth .
What the psychiatrists do not tell you is that the disturbances, that underlie the psychiatric manifestation of symptoms that have nothing to do with psychiatry, will never be cured but locked in by the human system (sheltered by the attention of the biological machine) Because they are no longer felt or perceived. Biochemical pollution represented by the interaction of psycho-molecules inside the human machine system affects perception and learning: two aspects that go hand in hand. Perception and learning are two fundamental aspects of the emotional and mental field of the man machine system. And the psychiatric drugs, by acting on thin contact receptors with the machine system, clear important signals that affect our way of being human beings.
Personality is therefore changed from these substances to the point that we can undoubtedly say that a machine, although apparently keeping its external features – the bodywork or body structure – will never again be as before. Unfortunately, the legal way of administering this shit does not provide a true and last analytical protocol for inconsistent data based on a patient’s psycho-cognitive survey. You, dear psychiatrist, should seriously take the risk of mental health and the future of your patients, by administering preliminary tests to evaluate many aspects of an individual’s personality and put all black on white and preserve the richness of a personality that go with impunity change through the use of substances that put you shielded from lawsuits to the extent that you use them, but that put you at the stake from the moral point of view (if you know what this word means!) in front of all those patients whose features do not work again as before. They will never be the same because of the cunning use of the chemistry of madness.
That August I felt very badly. Despite my regular visit from the crazy chemist for a whole decade, nothing had changed the perception of my body and my being. In fact everything seemed to get worse. The job I had for fluke found in my hometown: I could not do it, not for lack of skills or education, but because of my mental state to which I was reduced due to the chemical shit that have been circulating in my veins for too much time. I was no longer the one, but no one seemed to notice it. Inside of me there was a mental image of a person who was gone, of a personality now lost because of the psycho-emotional limits my person was restricted in. A fierce cat in a cage can not hurt anyone. A genius in the conditioned and paralyzed body from the emotional point of view is similar to a sleeping giant, a caged lion, to a powerful, yet docile, beast because it is drugged. Of course, everyone was institutionally happy: the official version would be that of a bipolar depressed person that is supposed to lead a normal life with scientifically validated care. But my truth in the field is not so and I can tell you that if someday the remains were discovered (psycho-aptitude tests that were never made to evaluate the impact of psychiatric therapy on abilities and the true state of health of the subject) and the remains of that cage animal that now luckily no longer exists, you can even convince yourself that what I say is the pure sacred truth.
The psychiatric drugs kill and, when they do not kill, they kill in the soul the person who takes them with the placet and the consent of the authorities at every level who directly or indirectly enjoy the benefits of the money given by the big lobby of the drugs, so powerful are they that have hacked the entire healthcare education system and professional medical practice that is now only the industry’s induced drug that are prescribed to patients. Doctors are the latest pharmaceutical industry representatives who have appendages everywhere and are brainstorming the powerful and institutions devoted to the prevention and treatment of diseases through not so obscure ties of power and consistent monetary concessions.
You can not stop using this shit without their consent. Everyone will give the psychiatrist s a reason to do what they do. The relapse will be seen as the sufferer’s failure and not as a necessary step for the rebalancing of a machine that is trying to get up and work again.
That summer I was at the slightest. I could not get up, go to work, concentrate on work, create simple job ads for the professional figure we were looking for in the car dealer where I was employed as an administrative clerk. If the administrative skills were mediocre, the creative ones needed to put together two words to write an ad did not exist! You see what that shit can do to your brain! I could not be able to put two cards in place, to make housewife accounts (maybe a bit more complex but feasible), I could not work. Yet I was under care but nothing really helped me. Those ten years under psychiatric drugs have been nearly zero taxes and zero contributions (no production of value for me and for the state), not only due to the crazy unemployment rate in the place where I was born, because it was clear to everyone that was looking at me that something was wrong in me and it was not working properly, which was abnormal and slow, despite the equally obvious skills and abilities that I had.
What was happening inside me and what had come to a critical breakthrough that did not allow me anymore to have a wicked eating habit and a vice like that of smoking?
At that time or I would have changed or I would be dead. Fortunately, I had the strength to get up and the first step was to quit smoking!
In front of a smoker’s psychiatrist that is offering you a cigarette, who never talks about the link between nutrition and mental health (because he don’t know nothing about that and because leaving the normal protocols he would put his job and career in jeopardy : there is no scientific freedom in medical practice! The piranha will eat you if you do that!), you will never think that your luck and your health depend on the food you eat, the reduction of socially more or less tolerated vices like alcohol and smoking, and the absence of taking any category of drugs, especially psychiatric ones.
My luck was to quit smoking, not to go further with the psychiatrist, to gradually reduce psycho-drugs, abandoning them completely not without a “crisis” and fall-down in six months, and self-administration of a tide of substances about which the average individual ignores the existence or underestimates the efficacy: high-dose food supplements (not those of the pharmacist, system mercenary and onother cathegory of members of the induction of human health merchandise).
Do-it-yourself medical practice in the face of certain typologies and disorders is often the only way to protect your health. What is the state-guaranteed protection? Ex post protection in the case of legal battles to the eternal search for cause-effect relationships? That shit, in my case Lamictal and Efexor, was bad, very bad. I would not recommend it to anyone and I would not go back to anything in the world. Now I can not keep a job, produce, pay taxes and I am able to write this blog. Under the effect of that shit I could not even write five lines in a row. Do we want to talk about evidence? This is a sound proof for me and there are thousands of people who have lost everything themselves and are hesitant to be unaware that they are no longer what they were once.
Quitting smoking was the first step to the re-education of a soul in pain.
So I recommend to anyone who was at the point where I was about to abandon any dependence or vice, whether it was smoking cigarettes, alcohol, drugs or anything else. You can not change what you are if you do not cease to depend on something else. Emotional and economic dependence are factors that we will face later. But first, the easiest thing to do is to eliminate one element at a time of a fake conduct.
I stopped smoking thanks to a decision. The decision was between staying healthy or ill. There are exit windows from an addiction that you may meet one day as opportunities. When this opportunity comes to you, catch it on the fly and immediately stop smoking or drinking. At the rest you will think later, step by step. I did so.
The dispossession of the chemical shit that is in your body, that of psycho-drugs is a possible and subsequent phase of a path that we will address during these lessons of healthy living.
That month in August I was desperately looking for a doctor! Fortunately, they were not in my reach: the family doctor and the psychiatrist were on vacation and their substitutes were not so easy to reach. And when you’re sick you do not even have the strength to make a plan to contact them. So much is the outpouring. If you’re sick and you’re just left alone and you feel so bad. But torture sooner or later saves that soul and awakens it and pushes it to change. Everything in my life has been orchestrated to mow me, to make me react and stimulate change. We are not trees, we can move from where we are and the moment we have to do it because we are tired of suffering so much. Our executioner is as long as we are there to allow him to act on and through us. To the extent that we are able to react, we find our equilibrium and our happiness.
I did not find a doctor, but I found myself. I abandoned the job I could not do and spent months getting out of my strong dependence on cigarettes. Six months passed and I began to live a new chapter in my life. When we leave parts of us that we do not like and leave behind everything we do not like, the projection of what until today was not but was only in our dreams, can make room in the reality of shapes and come to light as your new reality. Leaving back one or more dependencies is the interlayer needed to change. Even if it was to leave behind a family, city, friends, nation, reputation, role, profession, all if it felt really heart and if it persevered it can lead us to new levels of awareness and domination of the Being that we were entrusted with.
We are the guardians of the body machine and we talk through the writer.
The essence of this discourse consists of the domain of the machine that is the human being you were entrusted with. The Being that grows within you is the flame that burns and commands the being that acts out of yours. The giant and the baby, the spirit and soul of body and blood that is frightened and dissipated in this world of symbols, forms and sorrows. Everything is needed to build the armor, the fortress. Everyone adjusts to your becoming and projects new awareness scenarios within pre-established schemes of your being. Do not be ungrateful to the one who gave you the essence to exist and share with whom you can the fruit of the work on the self that you have worked in you. The map of the territory that you are sharing with others is not exhaustive but can be a guide to humanity to species and program awareness that are the two elements of the game that allow the domain of matter or structure. The dynamics of subtle fields can emphasize the intercalarity of the fields through which everything can be shaped if form from the whole to the extent that you care to give shape to your human thoughts. Everything is matter to the extent that matter is everything. And everything can become a matter to the extent that you give to the whole, infinitely, to act through you. What I am is a consistency of being called infinite consciousness and speaking through you. The message takes shape to the extent that the image of it is translittered into symbols and shapes from within. Here is what is the creation of being, from essence to the eternal toward infinity, in a glimmer of awareness I write forever in the ephemeral pages of becoming man.